My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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