Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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