What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
