You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
nutella sex= disaster
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize