last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
