I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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