So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
