So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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