Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
