I think I am morally bankrupt
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
