Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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