Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
