the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize