He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
