Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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