so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
