I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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