She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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