drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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