She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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