I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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