Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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