its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
