mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
