I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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