I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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