There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
