did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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