AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize