it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize