we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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