now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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