What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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