I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize