how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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