He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
