had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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