I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
