Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
