real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
