you would pick up someone in the library
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
