How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Two words: blizzard sex
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
