U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
