But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
