Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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