i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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