Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
