I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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