We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
