summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
