I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
one might say we're banned from that church
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you told grandpa to call you daddy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
