i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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