Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
