My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
