is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize