Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
