put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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