Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
