I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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