I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You can't special order awesome
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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