I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Found the puke drawer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
