This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
