Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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