I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
